Pain's a thing I know not of
But I do know Love
I in suffering cannot share
But I sure can care

Burdens heavy I can't carry
But I can help a soul that is weary
I can't carry your pain for you
But I can carry you

A hug, kind word, lemon, or orange
Can change the world or only encourage
Each little action counters the strife
Each little action just might save a life

A person is known for more than reactions
One's soul comes across set deep in one's actions
Actions that are devoid of love
Truly are for nothing

Dear Enemy,

Dear Enemy,
I want to thank you for thinking about me the other day. Most, but for the best, of my friends wouldn't conceive to think of me, but you, it seems, devote much of your time with me on your mind. Your constant battery of insultation flatters me to no end. Please know that I am so grateful for your enemyship, and for an enemy, you're the friendliest I know.

With love and resentment,
-John Hancock


(This isn't directed at anyone at all. In fact, it really was just a random idea that came over me while I was in the shower a few nights ago, so I thought I'd capture it in words. Any thoughts?)

Words Unwritten

Lost are the words which remain unwritten
A hollow memory is all that is left
Feeble, fallible mind can't remember
Of all of their memory bereft

Why can it be such a beauty inspired
Can't in a man's memory transpire?
As if words unwritten become unthought
What should be forever forever is naught

Jet Trails

Streams of vapor follow me
Wherever I might go
Provision for the world to see;
Where I've been to know

My words and deeds don't fade away
Floating freely in the sky
A testament to that ama-
zing grace that saved a wretch as I

Blue Glow

I wrote this one years ago.  I had completely forgotten it and randomly found it in an old email I had sent.  It's beautiful, and yet disturbing to look at old e-mails.  There are some things that are admirable or genius...   And then you see yourself making the same mistake three years ago that you made just yesterday.   Just how powerless to change ourselves are we really?

In the cool blue glow of the computer screen
He weeps in a place where he can't be seen.
All he really needs is a friend, a guide
Looking for some comfort from the parts inside.
A very brilliant listener every slot and tray
It tells what you want to hear; what you make it say.
If comfort's what you really want you won't find it in a part
Comfort comes not in a thing but only from a Heart

On such a lonely night as this
The sun has bid adieu
Nameless shadows pass my way
Not one of them is you

Mannerisms slight reflect
A nose, a hair or two
But none can quite do justice
Not one's an image true

My mind makes pattern of what reminds
To find what means the most
It's hard to look straight at a friend
But only find a ghost

"you can call me 'Al..'."

How can it be a room is full
But one is still alone?
A hundred conversations fill
But not one is my own

Familiar faces I've never seen
Haunt my sanity
So very sure we've met before
But not that they've met me.

A name is nothing which no one knows
An echo of emptiness
A man without a soul is like
One who does not a name possess

You introduce and offer forth
Your soul captured in "name"
The meaning speaks right to the core
I offer back the same.

This bond we feel is soul to soul
In terms of you and me
Even though we've never met
We've shared identity

A rose is nothing without name
And certainly would lose all its fame
An image of the soul inspired
The meaning of a name transpires

Findin' It Harder

"I'm findin' it harder to be a gentleman every day..." -The White Stripes

When I see a girl cry (or anyone for that matter), my first instinct is to see if they're okay and see if they need anything.  For someone truly in peril or misfortune, I will go purt' near completely out of my way to help them.  It's how I was brought up and it's just how I'm wired.  What really irks me is when people see that and pull my heartstrings for their own pitiless ends.  I feel used.  It feels so wrong.   What really angers me is that I now I have to think twice and decide whether I ought to help someone or not.  Having touched the stove, something tells me that I shouldn't care so much.  This shouldn't be.  Trying to help someone in pain should not cause unnecessary pain to me in the process.  This isn't the first time my heart's been played with, and I know for a fact that it won't be the last.

Thing is, though, I'd rather have my heart played with than to not care. Caring is my greatest virtue and my worst folly and I know it full well and am not ashamed of it.   This is my greatest worry, though; that I get so burned out that I withhold compassion when someone truly needs it the most. 

About deciding to offer help
Or even should I care,
No poem even comes to mind
The words just aren't there...

Spring

Diamonds, crystals, shining glass
Crash to the floor with a gentle splash
Dim the sun to hardly a glow
Make the flowers grow

Vision had escaped my power
Trapped amidst this deafening shower
Hoping, dreaming, wishing to know
If it ends with a rainbow

What burned in fall and frozen after
Is now engaged in joyful laughter

A Poem Forgotten

What becomes of a poem forgotten
That hasn't quite been written down?
Are words gone forever, or were they ever?
Or do they all just fall in a mound?

Decaying, yet enriching the soul that forgot them
A compost of thoughts, meter, and rhyme
Preparing the way for the depth of emotion
A poem requires to last all of time.

A rose, a rose!

Once upon a world of tomorrow
I sniffed a row of mechanical flowers

The name, a "rose" they proudly borrowed
But their fragrance was overpowered.

"A rose, a rose," I did repeat,
"never before has smelled so sweet!"

Thoughts Half Thought

Echoes of thought off well-read walls
Reflect, remind of who I once was.
The silence was golden, but glittered not
Expression held back, but certainly not thought.

I ask no forgiveness for time that was lost
It was for me, and for you I was gone.
I had to weigh the good and the cost
Expression of thoughts half thought is wrong

But here I am to speak again
(Deep thoughts, emotions with God remain)
To share my heart and soul well thought
In such a way I know I ought.

It's been a long while since I've posted anything real on here. This is intentional, but I think I'm ready to be back. :) God is ever changing, shaping, molding me. Sometimes it's uncomfortable, but it's always beautiful whether I can see it or not. The problem lies in being at a point of not seeing and still writing that troubles arise. I have never been fake here, and I never intend to. But thoughts and feelings not properly processed which get expressed can cause damage. So I offer no apology for being gone, and I hope I don't have to apologize for being back. :)

The wonders of Photoshop

I installed Photoshop on my younger siblings' laptop, and they have taken to it quite quickly. They realized that they could add captions and express the inner dialogue that goes on in their little heads when they look at photographs. So, with Stephen and Chrisanna being so adept at expression, I thought I would create a photo blog for them to inspire creativity and let them share it with the world. I introduce you to Sandhamlets

Gold

My heart is pretending that this song is ending
But this poem will ne'er e'en start growing old
I waited and waited, but shouldn't have hesitated
But now is the time to be bold

Soul out of silence, heart on the mend
What used to glitter is now getting old
The time has come to no longer pretend
For not all that glitters is gold

Fall on the Floor

Wishing to cry
But I don't know why
Thousands or reasons fall on the floor

I hold it inside
With no one to confide
Don't want to be alone any more.

Edge of Gold

I opened up my bible after
Far too long had long since past
And came to quickly realize
That a soul can quickly rust

Protect your soul from collecting dust
Prayer is like an edge of gold
In God place your deepest trust
So your faith will n'er grow old.

Is it wrong to think you're beautiful?
Is it wrong to feel your pull?
Is it wrong to want to be your friend?
Is it wrong to love your soul?

Logic leave us

I've been thinking a lot about what i want to do with the rest of my life. More precisely, I've been trying to sort out what to major in in college. The top majors on my list are all technical ones. God has given me a brilliant mind. He has also given me the heart to see beauty and love. Sometimes, though, I feel like Spock. Love and Logic clash. Input not found. Love is not logical, but love is real. It is not a reasoned dissertation that moves the soul, but love. What amazes me is that I can see the beauty in logic. This is my gift. The most intricate theories of mathematics are beautiful. Math is beautiful. But now read this poem (which is still a work in progress). Don't read it in silence. Read it aloud. Hear it. Feel it. Taste both it's structure and beauty.

Logic leave us, let us love.
Facts and figures fail to feel
After all falls from above
Love is left, alone is real.

But beauty flows from out the mind
Intangible touches to the soul
Makes a man a man of kind
Holds the heart, makes it whole

A friendship based in beauty and fact
Love meets Logic hand in hand
Never did such strange attract
Free to fly, never to land.