Findin' It Harder

"I'm findin' it harder to be a gentleman every day..." -The White Stripes

When I see a girl cry (or anyone for that matter), my first instinct is to see if they're okay and see if they need anything.  For someone truly in peril or misfortune, I will go purt' near completely out of my way to help them.  It's how I was brought up and it's just how I'm wired.  What really irks me is when people see that and pull my heartstrings for their own pitiless ends.  I feel used.  It feels so wrong.   What really angers me is that I now I have to think twice and decide whether I ought to help someone or not.  Having touched the stove, something tells me that I shouldn't care so much.  This shouldn't be.  Trying to help someone in pain should not cause unnecessary pain to me in the process.  This isn't the first time my heart's been played with, and I know for a fact that it won't be the last.

Thing is, though, I'd rather have my heart played with than to not care. Caring is my greatest virtue and my worst folly and I know it full well and am not ashamed of it.   This is my greatest worry, though; that I get so burned out that I withhold compassion when someone truly needs it the most. 

About deciding to offer help
Or even should I care,
No poem even comes to mind
The words just aren't there...